Say Yes

to my wishes
my desires
my emotions
my needs
my will.

"All you gotta do is say yes, don't deny what you feel..."

So perfect. TT.

Friday Feast Meme

Because, golldammit, it's Friday somewhere!

Just kind of surfed into bryberry's website.

Friday Feast Meme
Appetizer
List 3 things you keep putting off.

1. my Incompletes
2. cleaning my room
3. buying a bed
   

Soup
What do you feel is your greatest responsibility?
To make a positive difference on this earth.

Salad
If you could have starred in any movie, which one would you have wanted to be in and why?
Wow. This is a hard one. Probably "Freeway" with Reese Witherspoon. That was hilarious.

Main Course
What is an expectation you had as a child about being an adult and, now that you are grown up, you realize you were wrong?
I thought I would be able to do whatever in the hell I wanted to, and no one would say shit to me. HA!

Dessert
When was the last time you had your car serviced?
Last month. 3500 service. She's doing great!

So, honeypot and rv are tagged.

meme

I am more Mild than Wild.

It's funny, I just had this convo with a snippy lil woman a couple of days ago. She KIND of said something similar.

You Are More Mild Than Wild

You're confident, and you really aren't concerned with how "hot" you are. Other people's ideas of what's sexy don't concern you. And this is exactly what makes you attractive.

Are You Hot?

I'm only smokin' hot when I'm full of margaritas. LMAO

No, really, I'm good.

So this will be short, since my head is spinning.

I feel great, I feel loved, I nurtured a friend tonight, and I put my foot in the dinner I prepared. Being a hostess is the shit. Tonight was almost perfect. Some man would be lucky to serve me, because I'd coddle him, I really would. As long as he knelt at my feet and worshipped the ground I walked on. I'm pretty sure I mean literally.

Buenas noches.

SOS

I am not sleeping. I have more energy. I exercise regularly. I'm making dinner for my best high school friend.

And I've been wearing the mess out of Rihanna's "SOS." I know it's purely because the sample is Soft Cell's "Tainted Love," but I was bumping it so hard this morning, my female roommate caught some of my best stripper moves. And was highly enertained.

I had more to write about my day, staying busy, Kegel exercises and all, but, of course, crazy ex-boss lady can't get off of my tit.

so hard being wanted... isn't it? ;)

10 Songs That Were Hits The Year I Graduated

According to Launchcast, anyhow....

• Twisted, Keith Sweat (Loved it!)
  
• Macarena, Los del Rio (Hated it!)
• How Do You Want It?, Tupac (Rocked it!)
• Name, Goo Goo Dolls (It was cool.)
• Not Gon' Cry, Mary J. Blige (Wore the hell out of it. That was Carl.)
• Counting Blue Cars, Dishwalla (Never heard it, but I like it now.)
  
• Gangsta's Paradise, Coolio (Rocked it! WTF happened to him? Back to the firetruck?)
• I believe I Can Fly, R. Kelly (I believe he's nasty)
• If You Wanna Be My Lover, Spice Girls (Spice hurls is more like it. Hated it!)

That was kind of fun. Random, but fun.

I Think, Therefore I Am Not.

I've been thinking too much for 20 years. I grew up having to think everything through carefully. Even when I was going to misbehave, I considered my options, the consequences, whether or not it was worth it. And I always, when caught, got the worst punishments--because my mom knew I'd thought my actions through.

"You do that deliberately evil shit." I've heard similar songs all my life. But I come from evil stock. And stock that won't forget a slight, imagined or otherwise.

The first time I was ready to have sex, I was barely 18. I and some hoochie girlfriends went to the local army base enlisted club for a night of dancing. I met a private, Rob. I, of course, not really having been moved by lust at first sight prior to that night, was a lamb to slaughter.

We were going at it hot and heavy in the back of my girl's car, and all of a sudden, my grandmother's face popped into my head. She looked stern and disappointed. That was the end of any arousal. I couldn't get her out of my head. So we went into Denny's (this was well before the boycotts) and ate.

We ended up fucking at a later date, spur of the moment, in the house, parent upstairs. I always go to extremes. I freeze up, think everything to death, can't move forward in relationships or booty calls, or RL. Then I just go crazy, do the first man who shows interest, and overthink what I just did. So I'm either thought of as a freak or a prude. I can't win. I think. A lot. I don't just feel. Unless I'm on overload. Then, Lord help me.

But I can sure flog the hell out of someone after next week.

S'Wonderful

But for a completely teddy graham reason.

I am back in the world. I can no longer avoid it. But I have strong women who have my back. Which I'm going to need.

So, onto what really matters in this blog.

I am taking a flogging class with the master flogger, Master Hines!!!! I am soooo geeked!!

I swear, if I had a cane, I'd be licking it now. I am so ready to learn sensual flogging. Woo {shivering} woo woo woo. OMG I literally got myself wet thinking about it. The smell of the leather, the feel of the handle, the swishing motions. And the bare flesh in front of me. Sweaty. Blood close to the surface. Mm. Hell yeah. Lordy.

Plus, it's been months since I went into topspace, and I could use that rush. I'm going to call Golden Honey the minute I leave class. I laugh like a loon. I talk a mile a minute. I can only imagine bottomspace. I'm going to need an aftercare class, too.

And I think about what I like, and wonder if and how I could slip hints into conversation with particular people. Just to show, deep down, though I am a geek, I'm a kinky badass geek. Don't dismiss me, fool!

The Satisfied Honeypot

The Satisfied Honeypot This shit is hilarity! And some good reading, too!

Make new friends
but keep the olllllld
one is silver
and the other gold!

Welcome to my Golden friend (heh heh).

I missed your crazy ass!

My Sexual Style

... is purely due to my aloofness.

What is your sexual appeal?

Sophisticate
Take this quiz!





Quizilla | Join | Make A Quiz | More Quizzes | Grab Code

I've been tagged by redvelvet

And, uh, I don't have any other net friends in this iteration, so there's no one for me to tag. I should do something about that. Don't know what, though.

Here are my 10 simple pleasures, though it took me forever to think of them.

1. chocolate butter pecan eggs from See's
2. watching my sleeping neice
3. the ocean
4. the hollow of a man's neck
5. a warm wood-burning fire
6. a back rub
7. sleeping in direct sunlight
8. a great book
9. silence
10. spooning with the right man

Hm, rv had a couple of honorable mentions: the freshly laundered sheets and the perfect kiss.

Sore as Hell.

Note: Due to the circumstances described below, the tone of this entry will not by my usual circumspect style.

Sore as Hell

Yes, I am. Because, for the first time in almost four years, I had sex.

And, dammit all to hell, it was pretty good sex.

I did things I hadn't done for even longer than four years. Things to please a man. Which is so not me.

So here's the thing. I went prepared, but not anticipating.

I'll give him this: he is smooth. I haven't been "maneuvered" like that since my Nupe. And, now that I'm thinking about it, one day, sore thighs and booty, later, I've got the key. The key to how easy it was for me to have sex. How easy it was to fall into the game plan. How easy it all was: the laughter, the conversation.

He fucking reminds me of The Nupe. Same build, same anti-authority attitude, same intelligence, same ambition. Better furniture (understandably) and home. Different accent, but an accent nonetheless. And that shit drives me crazy. Fucking crazy. Because TN is, to this day, the only ex I'd take back.

We fought like cats and dogs. We dissed each other regularly. And his was the only number I'd call when I was fiending for dick. Ever. No shame. 1 am. Snow coming down hard. Once I called him before I went to the airport, to make sure he was going to be at home when I got back to school. I baked that +!&&@ a sweet potato pie. In a dorm oven. I almost moved in with him--based solely on sex. Beautiful eyes. Arrogant as hell. DP. NEVER dropped a cane. Ever. And knew what the fuck he was doing between the sheets. I still masturbate to shit we did. 10 years later.

So, last night, I couldn't put my finger on it, but the night was familiar. Easy cameraderie, easy segue into the bedroom. Silly me, I left my purse in the living room, as my reminder to not do anything. I was watching the movie, making comments, cracking jokes, and I looked over at him while he was watching the screen, and it hit me: "I'm going to fuck him." And I was calm. I was sober. I was rational. My usual behavior. I knew I was going to have sex soon. But I didn't know why him. I thought it was going to be another.

But I appreciated his company. I appreciated his skills. I appreciated that someone wanted me.
And it was so easy to just go with the flow. Then he uttered three words that mesmerized me, for whatever reason. And threw me into a tizzy. Which lasted until I washed my hair tonight.

Maybe South Pacific had it right: I just needed to wash that man out of my hair. Because I was going from one extreme to the other: why did I have to sleep with him so soon? We could have been an item. I'll never see him again. But I will. I have to, it's a small world. Then I started thinking, "I gotta get into shape! I'll be having sex regularly!" Vacillating between feeling sexy and doing my bellydance moves and feeling like a beached whale and wondering why he fucked me.

I am trying to not think negatively, I really am. I even distracted myself by playing with my hair. And washing my hair helped. Sure I need to do whatever I was going to do in my whirlwind of self-improvement. But I need to do it because the man for me, who will, most likely, remind me of TN, is out there. And I need to be ready and giving off the right signals to him.

But I'd like to fuck him again. Regularly. And well.

Reflecting

I haven't been reflecting all that much, lately. I've been doing.

Which is not what I do. I've been going with my guts. Just making decisions and sticking to them.

Like, I'm going to engage in mostly teddy grahams sex within one week. I've been celibate for almost 4 years. I think I need to start off slow.

That's huge for me.

Stop by and say hello.
 

---

Blab-away for as little as 1¢/min. Make PC-to-Phone Calls using Yahoo! Messenger with Voice.

Making Friends

I've been stressed over real life shit.

And corresponding with a potential buddy via alt.com. Adultfriendfinder has alot of guys who want to be buddies. Maybe they truly want to be FWBs. But, and I'm not judging, a great number of older white men are visiting my profile and e-mailing me. And, they're not what I'm looking for sexually. I just get the idea that I'm being exoticized, as well as eroticized, based upon my melanin, not my potential abilities. And I'm not so cool with that. I mean, why do white men want to be dommed by a Black woman? The personal is political. It all seems too stereotypical to me. "Why we gotta be ballbusters, man?"

Anywho. I've been corresponding with one guy, and another just popped up, but while he seems kinky, I'm thinking wild teddy grahams moreso than "atame'". But his profile was intriguing, "for a white guy," LOL. He was baldly emphasizing a FWB mindset, but enthusiastically so. The main problem I have, and, yes, rv, there are always problems, is distance. I mean, driving 45 minutes to get broken off is not the hotness.

Yes, I'm idly looking at hotels midway between the two cities. Don't start with me.

alt dot com

Has this hella-long fetish interest list, and I spent TWO days inputting my preferences.

And just now, the damn thing timed out.

I am pissed. And going to bed.

My Tarot Card

I can dig this:

You Are The Magician

You are powerful and wise - beyond what anyone can see. Deeply complex, you have the resources to connect to the spiritual and material world. You posses the knowledge to manipulate your life and the lives around you. You also have a great healing power, should you choose to use it. Your fortune: You have unhidden powers that you have yet to tap into. Soon, you will better understand how to use your intellect and intuition. Believe it or now, you will discover how you can manipulate yourself and others for good. You are at the beginning of a path of spiritual enlightenment.

What Tarot Card Are You?

I need that intellect and intuition now, because the dead-end job, even though I love it, is not where I'm supposed to be.

Spooooooky Meme

So eerie, so prescient. I always believed I'd end up with a Cancer.
But heaven help him if we're PMSing simultaneously. LOL

Your True Love Is a Cancer

Why you'll love a Cancer: Cancer's loyal and sincere heart makes your own sensitive heart melt. Caring and devoted, a Cancer will take the lead in pursuing you - and not give up! Why a Cancer will love you: You're laid back enough to deal with Cancer's little mood swings and freak-outs. A fellow homebody, you know how make Cancer comfortable and at home with you.

What Sign Is Your True Love?

For RV

It's obvious, isn't it? http://www.samuraikittens.com/

Enjoy!

The Dream

On Sunday night, after watching a campy British television show, I had a mildly disturbing dream.

I dreamed I was at a party of some sort, an uppercrust affair. I was wearing the requisite little black dress, with some flash of color. I don't know how exactly, I can't remember, but I was wearing some small item that hinted of kink. Maybe it was jewelry. I don't know. I just know that those in the know would know. If you know what I mean.

A man, tall but wiry, the color of brown sugar taffy, walked up to me and introduced himself. We made polite chitchat for a minute or two, but he kept looking at me expectantly. Finally, I just stared at him, waiting for him to say what was on his mind.

"You don't recognize me, do you?" He said with a peculiar smile. I instantly felt slightly sheepish. Peripherally I noticed women around us whispering and gazing at him longingly. He must be famous, or infamous, but I had no clue about his identity. Oh well. Nothing new about that. I shrugged.

"I'm a nerd, so I'm not really up on celebs." And I really didn't care, either. I thought that would end the conversation, but he told me his name, instead.

"I'm a professional football player," he added. I looked him up and down. As skinny as he was, I could see he was in great shape. But football?! My skepticism must have showed.

"What you Americans call soccer." Ah ha! I was intrigued. Soccer players are in great shape. I normally don't go for thinner men, but he was handsome. I still didn't think too much of our conversation. He wasn't my type: a jock, thin, lighter-hued. His next gambit stopped me cold.

"I'm also a switch."

I then took a closer look at him. His luscious lips. The cut of the suit--excellent. His hair, not too short, enough to sink my fingers into and grab. I surreptitiously glanced lower. Couldn't quite tell, but I thought I caught a glimpse of an outline that looked rather, uh, substantial. And, yes, he had a noticeably-firm behind. I avoided looking directly into his eyes as long as possible. They're always my downfall. But I looked up. I had to crane my neck to do so.

And I fell in love, at that moment. We chatted more, but it was definitely a different timbre. There was a mystery under the civilities. Would we? How far would we? And would I surrender to him, as I wanted him to surrender to me?

Then, dammit, I woke up to CNN.

"A Gift from the Mistress"

This is an important article.

Approaching The Mistress©
by The Mistress Didi*

Understand your needs. Most people are thrilled by the idea of serving a Domnina will give them some kind of satisfaction on a psycho-emotional-physical level. They are excited by the "idea" of serving, but not completely aware of the time, energy, and how much control must be relinquished in order to serve properly. The fantasy element of serving a Mistress often blinds the submissive to the fact that his/her hands will get dirty while doing chores that s/he does not want to do, but is instructed to do. The goal is to do the will of the Mistress; your desires are of no importance unless the Mistress is concerned about and chooses to address them. For many, once the reality of all that entails proper service becomes clear, they do not actually wish to serve; they wish to be thrilled.

Training for proper service requires the Mistress' time, energy and skills and She should be rewarded by your complete obedience and your tributes. Should you determine that the thrill was more important to you than proper service, you must be certain not to have wasted the Mistress' time and energy and that should She release you, that you leave Her well compensated. It always annoys me when cheap people do not even bring me a bottle of wine as a tribute and dare to think that to clean My bathroom is actually something special that I should be grateful for from them. They fail to realize that My bathroom is already being regularly cleaned and has been for a long time before they even thought to approach me to offer service.

Because of their own selfishness and their actual desire to be thrilled, they either do not realize or care that their attitude and actions are insulting to the fact that I am a Professional Dominatrix, an artist in the Lifestyle and have devoted My time, energies and belief in being a true Goddess. Herein lies the yin-yang aspect of the Lifestyle: you are served by serving Me and the person that I have cultivated Myself to be gives you the pleasure of fulfillment in service to Me.

So, you do not wish to insult a Mistress because you are the one who will lose -- whether now or in the future. The Mistress will immediately have another person to serve Her. People who want to keep the Community a place of nurturing and fulfillment will not appreciate behavior that brands you as a loser and no one will want to waste their time with you. This is why you must have your thoughts clear and focused. Mistakes can be avoided with proper preparation.

When you make the conscious choice to serve a Mistress, you must be clear on:

1) Why you want to serve; what do you believe you will receive from serving Her? What do you want from the Mistress as Her servant?

2) What service means to you: this includes what tasks you wish to offer before you even speak with a Mistress;

3) How far you are willing to go in your training. This should include what type of servitude you desire, e.g., 24-7, to become collared, etc. This should also include an honest look at your fetishes. The Mistress may be into public humiliation, but you may not believe this path is for you; and

4) What type of service you do not wish to offer. This is crucial because if you are engaged in an activity that does not offer you the opportunity for personal growth in service, you won't be happy and the Mistress will not be pleased.

I suggest writing your answers so that you can review and revise them for deeper self-understanding. The last thing you want to do is to misrepresent yourself to the Mistress and displease her because you cannot live up to what you offered. On a personal level, to misrepresent yourself to yourself is a sure path to unhappiness, failure and despair.

Educate yourself. Part of the joy of this journey of self-discovery is the opportunity to enhance your knowledge and awareness. Before presenting yourself for service, know who and what you are in this moment. There are numerous BDSM sites which offer excellent educational tools and resources, such as BDSMU, DomSubFriends and info on Master Steelow's site. The Community is full of wonderful people who will freely answer your questions and assist you on your path. By knowing what you are talking about when you present yourself to the Mistress, you will show your respect for Her experience and show that you are worthy of the time She gives to consider you.

Warning: Perhaps this is my personal peeve, but I do not find most of the videotapes that are readily available to be more than just (bad) fetish-type fantasy filmed for profitability. Before you purchase or rent a tape to learn about the Scene, do the research on reviews, author/producers, etc. to see if there is anything of value to you in even bothering to investigating the product.

Make A Good Impression with your Inquiry. First impressions are lasting. Nothing annoys Me more than a poorly presented inquiry and I usually dismiss the petitioner. Some rules to follow:

1) Greet the Mistress with respect and honor Her with your words. A simple example is, "Greetings, Mistress, may I present myself to You for service?" NEVER just start with your requests of what you want from Her.

2) In either the first or second paragraph, tell the Mistress why you are worthy of Her consideration for service, e.g., your past experience, what your talents are, etc. Use this opportunity to show your sincerity in desiring to serve Her.

3) In either the first or second paragraph, tell the Mistress why you wish to serve Her specifically. Careful not to go overboard with the flattery. When someone praises My beauty too much, he appears to lack creativity. I am also not interested in how my physical attributes inspire you to want to serve Me. The honor of serving Me should be your inspiration.

4) Choose words that "offer" rather than words that demand, e.g., "As your humble servant, i would be honored to shop for your groceries," as opposed to saying "i want to" or "i will do your food shopping." Remember, when presenting yourself for service, your goal is to please and serve the Mistress and attend to Her desires.

5) Offer personal information including your physical description, job, where you live, whether you have a car, etc. It is also an excellent idea to let the Mistress know when you are available for an interview -- "i work Monday through Friday from 9:30 to 5:30 and am available at any time on weekends for an interview at Your convenience."

6) Make certain that your request is personalized to the Mistress. If I should receive something that looks like a form letter, I dismiss the petitioner.

7) Make certain that your request is neat, correct spellings, use paragraphs and punctuation. This is another way that you will show the Mistress that you are taking the time to present yourself properly and that you are capable of proper service.

8) Pay close attention to what the Mistress requests of applicants. I only allow people who take the time to care about themselves into my personal arena and I instruct applicants to be creative and offer Me some insight to their personalities. See My slave Application.

9) Give all of your contact information including phone number(s) with times to reach you. ALWAYS give your cell phone number. Include this information in the body of your request as well as at the end beneath your signature.

10) Take your time. I can always tell when someone has rushed and thrown together an application. I will not take you seriously in your desire to serve Me because you are showing that you will rush your duties. I have no patience for half-way anything. I want what I want done correctly and when I want it. So, if you do not make a good presentation, you will not be responded to.

11) If you send an actual physical application, be certain to use nice paper and either neatly type or print your text. If you send an email, DO NOT USE STATIONERY ATTACHMENTS. HTML text is OK, but since you do not know when or where the Mistress may read your email, keep it simple and easy to download. NEVER SEND AN ATTACHMENT.

12) It is a good idea to provide the Mistress with at least one photograph of you. Again, NEVER SEND AN ATTACHMENT. Take advantage of free online photo album services such as Yahoo Photos or use a search engine to find a free online photo sharing site. Sign up, upload photos and you will be given a link to cut and paste into emails that will take people you invite to your photos.

Generate Interest in you. It is important to give the Mistress a reason to want to give you an interview. Do not rely on your income, what services you request to offer, or anything material to interest Her. Good D/s relationships happen with chemistry. If you believe that you truly want to serve this Mistress, there is obviously something about her that inspires you. Therefore, you must give Her something to feel that you would be a good match in service to Her. Let your personality come through in your application for service so that it will not feel like work for the Mistress to consider you.

I state on my initial webpage that I dislike lackluster slaves and being bored. I also state that I like intellectual stimulation and amusement. Good ideas to interest Me are to offer a short poem that speaks to you, state your favorite books/movies, tell Me a joke. Don't just blurt out the obvious. Think about what I must always hear from applicants and give Me something better.

Follow Up. After presenting your application, and unless otherwise instructed, the smart things to do are:

1) Call and alert the Mistress that you have complied with Her request and sent your application for service. This is taking care that your application is not mistaken for junk mail.

2) Be patient. If after 3-4 days you have not received a reply, it is permitted to call and/or email the Mistress to let Her know that (i) you are making sure that She received your application and that you will happily send it to Her again, if she desires; and (ii) you will patiently await Her response.

3) How you handle yourself during the consideration period is of the utmost importance. Many times I will not respond to an application for days just to see how the petitioner behaves. Polite and considerate behavior ALWAYS gets My first consideration and shows me that you have good social skills. I do not allow people to make demands upon Me in any way.

4) If you are not accepted for service, DO NOT BEHAVE RUDELY. Thank the Mistress for Her consideration in a follow-up email or letter. Smart people know that good things happen to good sports. There have been many times where I have referred applicants to other Dominants to whom they would be better at serving than they could have served Me.

Tale of 3 applicants: subA and subB provided applications to Me that were creative, showed their intelligence, interesting and gave Me reason to decide to interview both of them. I did not respond to either application for 7 days. subA sent a polite, follow-up email to ensure that I had received his application, to which I responded and told him that he would be contacted. subA was very smart; he thanked Me for responding to him and told me that he would "anxiously-with-patience" await contact from Me.

subB, on the other hand, is an idiot. 2 days after he'd sent his application, he called and left a message complaining that he hadn't heard anything from Me, that he didn't feel he was being treated fairly, that he'd spent the time to give Me what I wanted and I was not giving him what he wanted. First, subB merely followed instructions for what he must do to apply to serve Me. Since he had not even had an interview, he did not know what I wanted and he clearly did not educate himself to the fact that My consideration for his desires must be earned. I ignored him because I had made my decision that he, like all of the other applicants, would be responded to in 7 days. Within the next 5 days until I responded, subB called twice a day to complain. I wrote him a 2 sentence email which stated, "Due to your extremely poor behavior, I choose not to have you serve Me. Good luck with your search for a Dominant." If his behavior had not already been bad enough, he called and emailed to demand that I reconsider him to serve Me, that I would certainly miss out on not having him serve Me, and that he would do whatever it took to get Me to reconsider him. subB is not ready for the Lifestyle, completely unworthy of any attention from Me, insolent, and was trying to "top from the bottom" -- which I absolutely despise. I told him that he would have to pay for My time to interview him, fully expecting him to disappear because subB's behavior clearly indicates that he is cheap on every level, a quality that I equally abhor. I am satisfied that he has not contacted Me since.

subC presented a wonderful application, had a good phone conversation with my assistant, scheduled an appointment for an interview, and the day before the interview, called my assistant to "negotiate" the tribute required -- a mere bottle of wine. subC argued with my assistant that he was not interested in a professional session and that he did not think he should have to purchase or bring anything to the interview! I allowed subC to hear Me instruct My assistant to hang up the phone and have no further contact with him. However, he thought he would barrage Me with emails and phone calls. This upset My assistant terribly, who requested to reply to him and explain how he ruined his opportunity to be referred to a Dominant who may be better suited for him. I gave her permission to respond.

Because of childish, self-centered, spoiled behavior, subB and subC not only ruined their chances to enjoy service to Me, they also ruined their opportunities to be referred to a Dominant situation that could have been just what they were looking for.

The moral of this tale is to always, always have respect and be gracious. You never know what the future holds -- or doesn't.

Conclusion. It should now be clear that if you truly desire to serve a Goddess, that you must exhibit divine grace yourself. Otherwise, how can you dare to think yourself worthy of consideration? Again, I am a benevolent despot and believe that education is the key to success and that knowledge is for sharing. Now you have the tools to approach a Dominant properly. I wish you well and you are welcome for this Gift.*

Show your gratitude by clicking "Thank You, Mistress Didi*" below.

For more lessons in servitude, click "Mistress Didi's Options" below.


Interesting lesson, no?

Testing

Mail blogging could be a lifesaver for me. Or at least
a timesaver. And I could post more often, since I
can't really bring this blog up at work, nahmean?

I had a dream last night. One which I shan't go into
detail about at this time. I'm on lunch, but I share a
space with another. And his boss, my former boss, is
very intrusive/nosy/loc'ed out/special, etc.

I always say my former boss fired me. I will stop
saying that, as of now. I will continue to refer to
her as crazygreekexbosslady, however. I can do that.

Anywho, the next time I post, it should be about the
dream.

PS: I will still say she let me go. It's the truth,
after all.

A Picture Share!

My eye!

I have to thank sugasm for this

Technically, I should thank red. But she mocks me. So I'll thank the source: Killing An Erection

It wasn't what I thought it was going to be, but whoa, was it hilarious. Then it got me to thinking.

How have I killed erections? Have I killed an erection? Would I kill erections intentionally in the future?

1. With my mouth. Wide open. Tongue wagging.
   
2. One that I know of, probably more.
3. Damn skippy. I'm thinking this could be fun. Depending on what I do. And that's the challenge. If I choose.

I laughed at a man's penis. Intentionally. But he was rude. And unencumbered. And pushy. I hate pushiness. I believe in manners. Civility. If you're going to act inappropriate, expect reciprocal behavior.

Mind you, this was almost 10 years ago. We were at a club, and some fool was insistently trying to grind on my ass. I stepped away, but he pursued. Finally, I turned around and said it didn't feel like he was working with much, and it wasn't doing anything for me. His drunk ass grabbed himself (typical) and said he was more *n* than I could handle. I rolled my eyes (which has been a bad habit since birth, and has gotten me smacked repeatedly, you'd think I'd learn) and, apparently that enraged him. He actually flashed his penis on the dance floor, and I laughed. I tried to cover my mouth, but it was too late. And those darn things can deflate quickly, apparently.

I'm sure he was more blessed than I realized, and he'd just been drinking too much. I'm sure of it.

But it was a great feeling! One I may have to recreate with some adjustments. Like someone being restrained. And wearing a clown wig and big red nose...

Ooh, or a Dunce cap. In tiny shorts, argyle socks, and nipple clamps. OMG, I'm cracking up thinking about it. Just makes me want to bite someone.

Searching

I hate searching for men. It takes so much effort, and One has to put up with so much inanity. I keep trying to figure out what it is about them that I love. It's not necessarily describable.

I should stop kvetching, because I'll eventually have to train one. But dang it. It's. So. Much. Work.

I will say this: fellas, you could get alot more attention if you clean yourselves up and play the "strong, silent" type. I know I'd swoon. Well, okay, I wouldn't swoon. But I'd definitely growl.

three hours later

I'm done for the night. I don't know if the painkiller has kicked in, or what, but I'm tired. At least I have an inkling of where I'm going with this.

Of course, I look at red's blog and think I'm not going to get to that level. But then who can be red, other than red?

I was about to start bitching on a teddy graham topic, but I can't even muster the usual outrage for it. Which may be a good thing, at this point.

Eh.

I officially hate Photoshop. I hate Blogger. I hate CSS. I hate Flash. I hate whatever it is in me that makes me want to do something myself, learn how to do it, obsess over it, cuss over it, throw it away, and try it again.

This all started so simply. All I wanted was a silhouette of a Black woman, purple tones, with a lively serif font for my banner. That's it. It really didn't seem hard. A friend even did the jpeg for me (thanks, weird manga-lover). So all that was left was trimming, pixel adjustment, font, and put the damn thing in my current template. How hard could it be?



As you can very well see, I'm back to Ground Zero. I'm about to liberate a template from some creative commons site and call it a day. I've got shit to do.